I LOVE THIS VINE SO MUCH PLEASE WATCH IT
I LOVE THIS VINE SO MUCH PLEASE WATCH IT
You want to get kids out of foster care and into good, loving homes? I’ve got a simple solution to your problem.
Did you know LGBT couples are more likely to adopt older, children of color and disable children than straight couples? LGBT couples tend to adopt ‘undesired’ children more (basically kids no one else wants.)
you can just tell that Nicki Minaj is the kind of person that when you’re telling a story and everyone else in the group is talking over you, she’s making direct eye contact with you and paying extra attention so that you don’t get discouraged and stop mid-story
- Everyone who stuck with Pluto damnit (via plutokiid)
WEB EXCLUSIVE: John Mulaney hung out backstage to tell us about a time Justin Bieber scared him backstage at SNL!
Its that time again….
"all gays will go to hell"
oh noooo…. what will i do… surrounded with ……. nothing ……. but other homosexuals……….. u win this round……… god
Brennan agrees. “We are not the religion that says, ‘I must forgive everyone automatically.’ Our religion says, ‘I need to see that you understand that what you did is wrong, have taken steps so that you don’t repeat it, and are making a sincere apology to me. Then, I’ll consider forgiving you.’ ”
Indeed, there is no commandment that we must forgive. “That is because each sin is unique and each sinner’s approach to atonement is unique, as is each relationship and its circumstances,” explains Rabbi Mark Dratch, executive vice president of the Rabbinical Council of America, an Orthodox organization. “But God wants us to make amends because he cares about our relationships with each other. He demonstrates that by forgiving us again and again.”
But some things seem impossible to forgive. As the founder of JSafe, a Jewish organization dedicated to helping victims of domestic violence and child abuse, Dratch should know. How could atonement be made for those crimes? How could forgiveness ever be granted?
“Repentance is the obligation of the perpetrator and forgiveness is the prerogative of the victim,” Dratch explains. “In many cases, abusers follow the same steps as those who have committed other wrongs: admitting guilt, taking steps to make sure that the behavior is not repeated and sincerely apologizing to the victim. Those three things can take a lifetime to accomplish. Many abusers will not even admit their crimes and so can never earn forgiveness.”
Forgiveness is very different than consequence, Dratch says, and one of those consequences is punishment. “Someone may hurt you and you may forgive, but perhaps you don’t want that person in your life anymore, or perhaps not in the way they were before,” he says.
Lewis also believes that forgiving is the key to Yom Kippur, even if there can be no concomitant forgetting. “What happens in the past doesn’t go away,” she says, “but we find a way to integrate it into the new people we become through the work of teshuvah, seeking to repair our relationships with ourselves, with God, with other people.”
I think this may be helpful for some of us who are survivors who are struggling with forgiving our abusers. I included some key passages above.
This is a good piece on how Atonement and Forgiveness are understood in Judaism.
Ok but the emphasis on the victim’s agency and *choice* to forgive is really important.
You don’t have to forgive people who hurt you. Especially if they don’t take any of the steps towards an apology and changing.
Not taking any chances
I scrolled past this and the guilt was too much
they got mad
he…. has every right to tho. the song “wake me up when september ends” was about billie joe coping with the loss of his father. so when a bunch of shit-heads decide to be cute and constantly tweet him to “wake up” one the first of october its kinda like a slap in the face, like they’re completely disrespecting the emotions put behind the song. but i do know that there are only two types of people who do this. those who don’t know, and those who don’t care.
where do the lies end
i’ve had to listen to way too many people in my life and personal sphere try to convince young people that if they have been targeted and/or propositioned by older men with obvious sexual intent, it’s more reasonable to conclude that it was all some kind of big misunderstanding than it is to hold that person fully accountable for their behavior.
that’s bullshit. it’s bullshit. just straight up BS. the “it was all a big misunderstanding and the people speaking out are acting rashly” pitch is public relations marketing for people who’ve taken advantage of others but know their circle is dedicated enough that they can turn a public demand for accountability into an opportunity to subtly discredit everyone speaking out because If You Really Like Me You’ll See It My Way.
it’s strategically packaged and it’s insidious and it’s bullshit. learn to see through it. don’t tolerate it.
Alright, I’m going to be very blunt right here right now, I am pissed. No pissed is not a strong enough word for it, I am outraged, I am infuriated, I am livid. And the entire reason why is because Sophie made a post (an incredibly reckless post) where basically she accepts Neil Johnson’s bullshit apology on behalf of, not only herself, but Jenny and me.
Listen here. Jenny and I do not accept Neil’s apology, so much so that when Neil contacted me trying to apologize I would not let him. ‘Eden you’re such a bitch why won’t you just hear him out, man’ Why do I NEED to hear out a man who has sexually manipulated me since I was 13-15? Neil titles his apology “I am going to stop being flirty with people on the internet”. Good! I’m glad you’re taking that initiative for yourself. But let me just say that the moment you stop saying things like “you’re so smart for your age” and “you’re so pretty lalalalalala” and start implying the sexual things you want to do to MINORS it stops being flirting and it starts going into “I am being unfaithful to my girlfriend and also LITERALLY BREAKING THE LAW”.
I can’t believe that this is something I forgot to write in my initial post, but maybe a day after Rachel left a long trip seeing Neil, Neil starts “flirting” with me on snapchat and by flirting I mean him asking me to take my bra off and send him pictures after he sends a silhouette of himself completely naked. Yeah. Tell me that is flirting. Tell me that is completely appropriate behavior for an adult to perform when speaking to a minor.
Sophie may have realized that her post was blown out of proportion, but for Jenny and I, and it was actually very illegal. Sophie was an adult when the actions described in her post took place. I am still not an adult. I cannot legally consent in the state I currently live in for another two years. I could not even legally consent in the state Neil was living in. Hell, just for shits and giggles let’s look up if I could legally consent in Canada where Neil’s current girlfriend lives. What? Are you telling me that a 13 year old has not been able to give consent to sexual advances since 1890? Wow I guess that would leave me to believe that I have a right to still be angry and I have a right to not accept Neil’s apology that he posted on the internet and that he forced onto me even after I said “I don’t care”.
I cannot comment on Neil and Rachel’s relationship and their arrangement that allows Neil to flirt with others as he pleases because that is none of my business. What is my business is that when he sent a private apology to me he did not say “I’m sorry for flirting with you, it was inappropriate and I understand your disgust,” no he said “I really always thought our conversations were more than sexualization”. He admitted to sexualizing a minor.
Sophie, I cannot tell you how to feel about that night Neil made you feel uncomfortable and made you feel like you were enabling cheating, but I will say that what Neil did to Jenny and I was not a miscommunication.
Frankly, I cannot speak on behalf of Jenny at this point, but in retrospect, looking back at the conversations I had with Neil where he would make me feel special, and then go off and make another girl feel special, and then go off and make another girl feel special does not make me feel special anymore. It makes me feel like I’ve been manipulated and lied to. I’m sure Neil is sorry for the way he treated Jenny and I, but sorry doesn’t mean shit when Neil has entirely negatively affected the way I form relationships with men probably forever.
And Rachel it’s okay that you unfollowed me and that you have made no attempt to sympathize with the victims. I understand that you too are very hurt by the actions of your boyfriend. But just so you know, not addressing the things Neil has said to Jenny and I only makes me believe that you are siding with an abuser. And that is not okay.